Serenas game has changed, and Im excited to watch

Serenas game has changed, and Im excited to watch This week at the US Open Serena Williams drew attention to  sexist rules governing womens attire  by wearing a tutu on the court. It turned out this was the perfect outfit for her final match.   The referee penalized Serena for looking to her coach in the stands. Serena was outraged that hed accuse her of cheating. He penalized her again. She  protested that he penalized her for being as angry on court as men are.  Fans agreed, and protested loudly. Men rarely get penalized for what Serena did. She told the ref he was sexist. She called him a liar and a thief. At one point she was so frustrated that she smashed her racquet to pieces. Even with vocal support of the crowd, she lost the match. Serena has been heartbreakingly transparent about the difficulties of her post-baby return. Unfortunately  we rarely see that from women. Mostly we see BS like Sheryl Sandbergs arrogant, misguided  battle-cry for new moms to lean in. Serena is a perfect example of what its like to lean in. She is both a fortune-teller to women who are about to go through this phase of life, and shes a mirror for the rest of society to see whats really going on. The precondition for going back to work is money and expertise.  Because even though you have a new baby, the family will revolve around you. You need to have married a spouse who  has already proven himself so hes on-board to support your career. And you need a career that is special enough to warrant the whole family operating around it.  And you need a lot of money to  hire a nanny. If your spouse is still trying to prove himself,  youll divorce. If your spouse wont be the primary caregiver, you will think your child deserves a parent as the primary caregiver and youll opt out, which is what nearly all high-performing women do. All women can re-enter the workforce where they left. There is an enormous shortage of women over  35 in professional positions. Because professional women leave the workforce after having a baby.  If you want to be full-time after you have a child, you will have no problem getting your job back. The real question is: do you like your job enough to give up your time with your baby in order to do the job? Serena has been candid about how going back to a pre-baby job after becoming a mother is exhausting and forces difficult compromises. And remember this is not what it takes to build a career, its what is required to just hold on to the place youve already earned. Patience for workplace BS disappears. Serena has faced  gender discrimination  over and over  for decades, and shes handled it with incredible grace.   But things change when  you have a baby. Every second you devote to your work is time away from your baby, so you want your time at work to matter. You become acutely aware of the moments when people at work undermine your efforts. Serena lost her shit on the court yesterday because her time feels more precious now; she could brush off anything before she had a baby. And thanks to how transparent shes been about the difficulty of coming back to work, we are not surprised she cant brush it off anymore. Work doesnt make people happy.  Jennifer Seniors research-laden book explains why having children does not make people happy, but children  do create the most rapturous experience available to adults. Women feel this acutely, which is why women leave the workforce for kids and men dont. You will not climb up a ladder when you have young children, you will work twice as hard just to stay where you are. If you dont like where you were when you had the baby, its not worth going back. If you do want to go back, you will be shocked by how much harder you have to work than all the men at your level who have stay-at-home wives. You can do it, but it will be lonely. This is why very few professional women continue their career after a baby, and the idea of leaning in has been met with ridicule. Sonja Lyubomirsky published a paper showing that  happiness is a cause of career success rather than a result.  Take heed. Be very clear on what you gain by returning to work. And for some time I have wondered, what are Serenas career goals now? At the awards ceremony the crowd continued its boisterous protest. Naomi, the first-place winner, pulled down her visor to cover her tears. Serena turned to check on her, and she noticed the tears, so she put her arm around Naomis shoulders. Thats when I realized Serena has come back because shes not done clearing the path for the women who come after her. Which is why Serenas a winner today. That picture of Serena and Naomi is the picture of Serenas hard-won return to tennis so she can force more change. And I hope someone saved her smashed racquet, because that one belongs in a trophy case.